or worried about the future in immediate contact As human beings our job is to live by

with reality. intelligence."

Any two people have overy right to try, using their basic intelligence, to make a marriage. When such a union fails, Mr. Vaerlen pointed out, it is usually out of the stupidity of the two people involved.

The psychotherapist declared that the major reason why marriages fail is that the two people involved haven't decided intelligently on what they want to do. What also tends to interfere with these partnerships is:

1. Each expects the other to fit into a preconceived ideal and the first rough blow comes when the person tries to be an individual and doesn't fit the ideal.

Most people have a preconceived idea of what a marriage should be, based on the concept of marriage which they get from mom and pop.

The foregoing remarks apply equally to homosexual or to heterosexual unions. In a homophile partnership, however, there are additional problems to face most of which are created by fear. To have a successful union of any type cultural conditioned fears must be discarded, Mr. Vaerlen stated. This is particularly true for the homophile.

"Cooperation in a partnership entails mutually agreed upon compromise. It does not entail competition. Competition may be the life blood of business, but it is the life blow of partnerships.

"Any relationship is a creative process going on now, in present time. Adventure goes hand in hand with this creative process, and growth comes automatically."

The speaker pointed out that in many instances one of the partners will outgrow the other. In such a case there is little use in the two remaining together.

(Continued on page 23)